Med Student Running

Now that I'm in medical school, the extent of my exercise is often walking my dog or riding my bike to school.

People think that's okay.

I was an athlete.

It's not exercise if you don't sweat.

Med Student Cooking

I don't have a lot of time to cook. Weird how taking 19 credit hours of the hardest classes of your life (up to this point) will do that to you.
When I did have time, in that month between growing season when I worked at the greenhouse/getting married/medical school, this was my absolute favorite thing to make.

If you think you don't like broccoli, you're wrong. If you've had good broccoli before because it was smothered with cheese, you're wrong.

Not to be arrogant or anything.

But seriously, this is SO good.
I just ate it on rice for lunch. That's all I had.
I'm so disappointed it's gone.
(And I just uploaded four pictures of broccoli like it was my own first-born child. Not ashamed.)

And it's so easy.

Cut the broccoli.
Heat the oven to 410+
Toss broccoli in olive oil, add a little bit of something acidic (lemon juice is probably the best, although I have used apple cider vinegar when there was no lemon juice around).
Cook it for 20 minutes. Put stuff on top (parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, garlic).

Devour.

Every Joy Is Beyond All Others

I am not a morning person. I prefer the night, it's easy for me to stay up late and always a struggle to wake up, regardless of how early I went to bed. 

This year my husband works an hour away and has to wake up fairly early, and I do my best to wake up with him and see him off before starting my day. 

One of the best things about this: the sunrises. 

Just two days ago as I was getting my breakfast ready, there was liquid gold pouring into the window. 

I felt like I was being baptized with light so thick I would be able to reach out and pull it over me, a blanket that brings wakefulness and excitement instead of sleep. 

Isn't it beautiful? 

The weirdest thing I've learned this fall...

Situs inversus.

It's crazy. There are people walking around whose insides are the mirror image of everyone else's.

Sometimes this causes problems (generally heart defects are associated). Sometimes it doesn't.

A person with situs inversus is above, while a normal chest radiograph is on the right.
image from:


Weird.

Men and women

I read this interesting blog that Donal Miller wrote about how men treat men differently than they treat women.

http://storylineblog.com/2012/10/30/like-equals-or-like-men/

Outside of his questions, I now have some of my own...

She said men don’t compliment each other, they don’t encourage each other, and when they shake hands, they grab each other firmly and look each other in the eye without smiling. It’s like they don’t know how to get along, she said.

Is this why I tend to have better friendships with men...I don't know how to compliment/appease a woman's emotions enough to maintain multiple long-term/high-density relationships with them?

As a rule, men are not nice or kind to each other. We do have our friends and we play our favorites, but for the most part, men are competitive and intense and are often marking our territory. I don’t know a single man who isn’t more kind to women than they are to men. Men are tough with each other and much more likely to fight with each other than they are to fight with a woman.

Is this why guys who know each other through a significant other have a hard time getting along? They're "marking their territory"?

Weird.

This is actually hard. Please don't assume I'm just being modest.

Medical school is hard. I know you hear med students say that all the time, but maybe you're a pre-med student who thinks, "Yeah, it's hard for most people but I've never struggled in school before and I'm killer with multiple choice tests."
Maybe you just know a medical student, and all of his or her life they've been really good in school, and if they get an A- their whole day is ruined. If they get a B in a class, they might cry for 3 hours. So you assume that when they say they didn't do well on a test that they got in the low 90s, maybe an 89%, and so you naturally say, "Oh come on, I'm sure you did fine!"

There's a meme on the popular tumblr about medical school about test scores. There is picture a representing undergrad 75, showing a girl under a desk crying and drinking a bottle of wine. The picture of a med school 75 has a man winning a game show, ecstatically raising his hands above his head. #whatshouldwecallmedschool

This is an accurate description.

So from now on, if I tell you I didn't do well on a test, please do me a favor and assume I almost failed...or maybe that I did fail....and react accordingly. It makes it worse when you remind me that I used to be smart enough for you to assume doing bad was still an A.

This is my desire...

Today in my medical student life, I have a cell biology test. It seems like it will be a pretty difficult one, the practice questions are not cognitively intuitive and it often appears that more than one option could be arguably correct.

In the midst of my studying, this NeedToBreathe song came on my iPod:

I was really struck by it. 

As much as I desire to do well on my exam, the ultimate desire that defines me 

is to be consumed by my Beautiful God.

How small are a few points wrong compared to the breathtaking knowledge of the Creator?

Christian/Scientist

I'm in medical school.

I have my first anatomy test tomorrow.

In the process of studying the embryology involved, a friend said, "Everything is from everything. God does not operate within human-comprehensible barriers, or any barriers, for that matter." I accused him of killing the learning....but really, how true is it? 

We can study the mechanisms of our bodies all we want, but we miss the main point if we forget to study the one who created the mystery and complexity of our living, breathing, thinking, tube-within-a-tube mass of cells. 

Reminded me of God's response to Job, and imagine what he would say to a first year medical student: 

Where were you when I organized the double helix? 

Who determined it's base pairing, or how it would supercoil when being transcribed? 

You aspire to protect health and life; I created them. 

Have you commanded the splanchnic mesoderm to produce BMP,

 or inhibited WNT so that the blood islands could grow? 

Was it your idea to have the heart begin outside the body, 

Have you comprehended the complexity of development? 

My child, you may see, but you do not KNOW. 

Memorial day

Memorial day: doggie bath, breakfast, repeat dog bath, clean bathroom after dog bath. Walk dogs to kyle's, first lunch. Enjoy company of the neighbors and eat fantastic BBQ (2nd lunch and dinner), watch dogs devour bones. Drive dogs home, cheesecake, devo, think about planning wedding and instead rent J. Edgar. Bed.  Bless the Lord oh my soul. 10,000 reasons for my heart to sing.

Seeking and finding

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? -- Matthew 18:12 I'm dog-sitting, and left the two dogs outside during church. When I got home, the gate was open, and only one dog was left. I wish I could go look for her, but I have NO IDEA where to start. Which is unlike Jesus. He knows just where to find you.

Politics

I got into an argument with someone very close to me tonight about how I can claim Christian principles guide my life when I do not hold predominantly Republican views. In fact, I would consider myself a fiscal-conservative, social-liberal. I think the Constitution is pretty awesome, and should be defended. I think that, were the country not predominantly Christian, I would want someone to fight for my freedoms to behave according to my morals and ethics (which in my case also involves worshiping an all-powerful and awesome God, let me be clear).

Relevant Magazine has a series of articles written by Christians from a range of the political spectrum explaining why they vote the way they do.
If it so pleases you, I find that this woman does a good job of explaining my point of view.  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/op-ed-blog/28097-the-rise-of-christian-libertarianism

I think the Bible is to be lived by those who agree with it. Those who don't, I would love to have a conversation with and share how following God's plan for my life, giving up my "rights" for His purposes is life-giving, awe-inspiring, and breathtakingly beautiful. Maybe someday in this lifetime, we'll agree.

Beautiful things

I think, other than maybe the fiance and I's song that we already have, this is the most beautiful wedding song out there. 

I was sitting in church, thinking about my upcoming wedding, and getting nervous about what it means to be married to another person. Thinking about how awful I will be at it, how I'll be a disappointment and disappointed with my future husband...but at the same time so very excited to get to participate in this crazy mystery that is supposed to emulate Christ and the Church and God's love for us. Then getting nervous again and feeling completely inadequate to accomplish the task. 

Then we sang this song (I went to church with my sister in Des Moines). 

It just so perfectly answered my hopes and fears. 

Yes, I am worthless and am going to be an awful wife more often than not. I am "dust". 

But God is making something beautiful out of me. God is making something beautiful out of our imperfect and frustrating relationship. He is making us new.