Wedding Dress and Psalm 102:25-26

My thrift store prom dress

 When I was a lifeguard in high school, I would spend a significant amount of my time on the chair mentally designing my wedding dress. I had managed to repurpose a regular thrift store dress into a pretty awesome prom dress with the help of my mom, and I had some pretty extravagant ideas about what I wanted for my wedding dress.

Fast-forwarding about 5 years to my boyfriend and I talking about getting married, and the dress is the first thing that comes to my mind. I texted multiple people before we were engaged to try to get somebody to go dress shopping with me (getting no takers, I did end up waiting until I had the ring). I had fallen in love with a dress designer in Minneapolis (joynoelle.com, her dresses are breathtaking, and all unique), but being a budget-conscious middle child who wants to please everyone I decided against the steep price tag.
I ended up going dress shopping three different times before finally finding "the one." It was the last dress I tried on, and it was everything I was looking for: reasonably priced, light, and unique.
And then I got Pinterest. I went through a period of about a month of looking at all of these gorgeous dresses, lamenting the fact that I'd purchased one so soon. I finally had to cut myself off.

On my wedding day, I was most pleased with my dress. I had looked at it as a big part of "my big day" and it fulfilled its role as expected.
But now, when I think about my wedding day, my dress is nothing special. Not because it wasn't a great dress, but because so many more wonderful things were going on. My husband and I got to share communion with our family and friends. My new brother-in-law and his wife were there with their 3-day old son. My cousins were playing frisbee on the lawn. I got to dance with my favorite little girls.

And sure, its important because it is one of the most photographed pieces of clothing you will own in your life; but those photographs will eventually come down in my house to be replaced by pictures of my children.

The glory of finding a fantastic dress was eventually eclipsed by the glory of a great wedding; which has also been diminished by the glory of working with my husband toward a marriage that reflects Christ's relationship with His Church, everyday. So in wedding dresses, as in all things, keep your eyes on things that matter, things that are eternal.

Long ago you laid the foundation of the earth

and made the heavens with your hands. 

They will perish, but you remain forever;

they will wear out like old clothing.

You will change them like a garment

and discard them. 

The 10 things I've learned from OB

1.  Research is important. If I didn't know better, I would totally think C-sections are better for the mom's body than vaginal delivery. So much stress.
2. Watching a woman give birth and watching the high jump are similar in that I have sympathy actions. Time for the athlete to have a strong knee drive? My knee instinctively raises. Time for mom to bear down? My abdominal muscles clench.
3. After searching for and listening to fetal heart sounds all day, I start to imagine them everywhere: the ventilation ducts, the static on the TV, general background noise.
4. Women are really different. Some women strain for a bowel movement and end up having a child - others work for hours to get the job done.
5. My husband probably won't be allowed in the labor and delivery room. He'll either be too freaked out and faint, or will make a basketball joke. I imagine this going something like, "One possession at a time, just gotta be really good one contraction at a time."
6. I thought because I ran track in college, I had at least seen hard work before. Nothing is as hard as pushing a living thing out of a space that is too small for it to fit through. Sometimes even when you have an epidural.
7. You know it's a good push when you can see hemorrhoids.
8. I may never stop tearing up when putting the baby on mom's belly for the first time.
9. Most shoulder dystocias occur in the absence of risk factors, so they can't really be predicted. If there is shoulder dystocia, there will be "turtle's sign": the baby's head comes out, and then wants to go back in again. In order to deliver the shoulders, there are several things that can help: putting mom on all fours (Gaskin manuever), pulling her knees up to her chest (McRoberts maneuver), suprapubic pressure, and delivering the posterior arm by reaching up and pulling the forearm out, among other things that we didn't talk about/do.
10. There are as many positions for pushing things out as there are for getting things in.

Purity is bullshit?

I have some wonderfully fabulous women-friends who have been posting this from Jezebel.com: http://jezebel.com/female-purity-is-bullshit-493278191

I trust these women-friends. They care about women and how women are treated, and they are passionate. They probably know more about the subject of female purity and how it is distorted by our culture. They're also Christians.

I just fear something is getting lost in translation over Facebook. I don't get to hear them speak about where they coming from when they "like" the article. I don't get to listen to their hearts and why (if this is the case) they think purity, in and of itself, is a non-entity.

Because I, too, agree with so much of what Lindy West says. I agree that a woman's worth is not dependent on what she will or will not do for a man, that a woman's "value as a human being is not contingent on her sexual capital". That there is something inherently wrong with a culture that teaches a young girl that if you have sex before marriage, you're the equivalent of a chewed up piece of gum.


I just think she's throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Much of what surrounds purity is patriarchal discrimination against women. But at it's heart, purity is a call to live in a way that is true to the selves that God calls us to be. So rage against the culture surrounding it and the double standard perpetuated by men who say that "pure" women are as rare as unicorns. Go to battle for the women who have not known grace, who have been or who are still held captive by lies that purity is something that you get once and can lose.

Because purity isn't simply not doing something, right?

I just feel like there's a really good conversation to be had, and I'm missing it because of Facebook, and how awful discussions can get online. So, women, come talk to me, please?

(Sidebar: In looking for another view on this, I found this blog: Bad Catholic: Is Female Purity Bullshit?. Good thoughts...frustrating that there is little acknowledgement of common ground between Catholics and Protestants.)

I did not write this. But it is beautiful.

An Easter Poem

Love is hard
         as nails
And life, a gift
         as tender and precious
         as the morning dew.
Come, now. Wake up
         and   be   glad.

Animal Sacrifices

Today on my walk to school, I was listening to a This American Life episode about animal sacrifices. In the intro for the episode, the host talked with a professor of religion about the biblical requirement for the Hebrews to sacrifice animals to God, why they don't do it anymore, and how maybe modern people have a negative -or limited- view of sacrifice.

"It's stuff. One is giving something. One of the points that's often emphasized, even in the biblical tradition-- and also in later rabbinic tradition-- about sacrifice is that a proper sacrifice is something that one owns. You can't go steal an animal and sacrifice it to God. And we also have to remember even if we think of animals as property, ancients-- one has to imagine the domesticated life of people, shepherds, living with their animals, who know their animals. A proper sacrifice has to be unblemished.

To have an unblemished goat, one has to really care for that goat, from the time that the goat is born, to ensure that that goat will not become blemished in some way."

As a Christian, I don't sacrifice animals because Christ himself was the ultimate sacrifice for my sins and God requires no more payment for the wrong I continue to do. But this explanation of sacrifice really stuck with me.

"So you have a relationship with that goat. When you inspect it for blemishes-- which is Bible speak for any kind of nick, or bruise, or anything-- the goat looks you in the eye. And when you give this animal that you personally know to God, God isn't some abstract being. He is someone, someone who takes delight when you bring something to him, who you have this very literal interaction with."

It seems like such a beautiful picture of what God asks us to do in our lives: give everything over to Him, even the things we really care about. Especially those things. Our relationships, careers, children's futures, reputations - if we were able to physically give these things to God, would it be easier to have this literal interaction of sacrifice and delight?

And it makes me think: What in my life do I feel like is a literal interaction with God?
What in your life do you feel like is a literal interaction with God?

You can listen to the episode here:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/480/animal-sacrifice