Politics

I got into an argument with someone very close to me tonight about how I can claim Christian principles guide my life when I do not hold predominantly Republican views. In fact, I would consider myself a fiscal-conservative, social-liberal. I think the Constitution is pretty awesome, and should be defended. I think that, were the country not predominantly Christian, I would want someone to fight for my freedoms to behave according to my morals and ethics (which in my case also involves worshiping an all-powerful and awesome God, let me be clear).

Relevant Magazine has a series of articles written by Christians from a range of the political spectrum explaining why they vote the way they do.
If it so pleases you, I find that this woman does a good job of explaining my point of view.  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/op-ed-blog/28097-the-rise-of-christian-libertarianism

I think the Bible is to be lived by those who agree with it. Those who don't, I would love to have a conversation with and share how following God's plan for my life, giving up my "rights" for His purposes is life-giving, awe-inspiring, and breathtakingly beautiful. Maybe someday in this lifetime, we'll agree.

Beautiful things

I think, other than maybe the fiance and I's song that we already have, this is the most beautiful wedding song out there. 

I was sitting in church, thinking about my upcoming wedding, and getting nervous about what it means to be married to another person. Thinking about how awful I will be at it, how I'll be a disappointment and disappointed with my future husband...but at the same time so very excited to get to participate in this crazy mystery that is supposed to emulate Christ and the Church and God's love for us. Then getting nervous again and feeling completely inadequate to accomplish the task. 

Then we sang this song (I went to church with my sister in Des Moines). 

It just so perfectly answered my hopes and fears. 

Yes, I am worthless and am going to be an awful wife more often than not. I am "dust". 

But God is making something beautiful out of me. God is making something beautiful out of our imperfect and frustrating relationship. He is making us new. 

The "B-word"

How does a two-year-old hear the word bitch often enough to call his friend and baby-sitter that when she insists that he not hit, pinch, or pull her hair. How is that one of the few words in English he knows? How do you communicate to his mother that these behaviors need to be stopped early on?

...by the grace of God. There is no easy answer.

Church

Last week there were a lot of BridgeKids at church. I sat by some of the elementary boys. It was frustrating in that kids are hard to keep appeased in church, and I struggle with the line of when they are old enough to sit up and pay attention, and when they are young enough to play quiet games.

I did my best to keep the young ones playing games quietly, drawing or looking in "I SPY" books, but I'd just about reached the end of my rope during the offertory when Micah asked if we could leave soon. I said there was one more song, we'd leave after that. He wanted to go right away, but then the next song started and it was one of my favorites. I told Micah so, asked him to stand and sing with me. He stood, and sang, not just the first part, but the whole song. And at the end, he said, "I wish we could sing that song again."

It's all about the little things, right?

(For those of you that are curious, the song was "I will follow")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ohvhmGSfxI&ob=av2e

His name's sake.

Yesterday was the hardest day of ministry I have had yet.

It still hurts, makes me sad, makes me want to cry with frustration.

Really it wasn’t that big of a deal, something I should have been expecting. The kids at Seneca got into a fight. It wasn’t even that big of a fight. As I tried to talk to them though, the girls refused to listen, hit and kicked me, ran away. One even bit me.

I got home and was frustrated at silly little things the rest of the night. As I was going to bed, I picked up a book from my bedside table, Searching for God Knows What, and started to read the chapter on morality. It talks about how too often our morality is based on comparing ourselves to others, too often we believe our morality saves us. It brought up Psalm 23, the verse that says “He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

It’s kind of a stretch, I realize, but reading that chapter on morality and how it’s really an abstract concept and one that is fluid (although the Bible does provide a lot of guidance it is by no means a manual but more of an invitation to be led for His name’s sake). It helped me to realize I wanted these kids to behave so that my job was easier. I wanted them to behave so that I wouldn’t be tired, sad, frustrated. While I do love them and also recognize that not fighting is the best thing for them, the root cause of my frustration was that I had a bad day. Not His name’s sake.

If the kids need to fight now so that they will learn later what it means to have grace, so be it. If it means that I will have bad day after bad day because that is what they need, I am resigned, excited, called to live through that fact.

timshel

I have a new friend. I love this friend, a lot, although we barely know each other.

There's been a lot of pain in the past, though, and it is hard to deal with. I desire to help so much that sometimes it's painful for me that I cannot. As I was thinking of my friend this morning, this song by Mumford & Sons came into my head. I think it's such a beautiful recovery song.

My favorite line says, "...it will steal your innocence, but it will not steal your substance."
Regardless of what has happened to you, you are still the person God created you to be. Beautiful.

A close second, and one that really resonated with me now, comes at the end:
"But I will tell the night
and whisper lose your sight.
But I can't move the mountains for you."
Regardless of how much I fight the darkness, they are your mountains to move. All I can do is hold your hand.

Be still and know.

I've really sucked at that for the past week and a half. I've been running around and trying to do too much.





But today I saw a blue jay on my way into work.