The 10 things I've learned from OB

1.  Research is important. If I didn't know better, I would totally think C-sections are better for the mom's body than vaginal delivery. So much stress.
2. Watching a woman give birth and watching the high jump are similar in that I have sympathy actions. Time for the athlete to have a strong knee drive? My knee instinctively raises. Time for mom to bear down? My abdominal muscles clench.
3. After searching for and listening to fetal heart sounds all day, I start to imagine them everywhere: the ventilation ducts, the static on the TV, general background noise.
4. Women are really different. Some women strain for a bowel movement and end up having a child - others work for hours to get the job done.
5. My husband probably won't be allowed in the labor and delivery room. He'll either be too freaked out and faint, or will make a basketball joke. I imagine this going something like, "One possession at a time, just gotta be really good one contraction at a time."
6. I thought because I ran track in college, I had at least seen hard work before. Nothing is as hard as pushing a living thing out of a space that is too small for it to fit through. Sometimes even when you have an epidural.
7. You know it's a good push when you can see hemorrhoids.
8. I may never stop tearing up when putting the baby on mom's belly for the first time.
9. Most shoulder dystocias occur in the absence of risk factors, so they can't really be predicted. If there is shoulder dystocia, there will be "turtle's sign": the baby's head comes out, and then wants to go back in again. In order to deliver the shoulders, there are several things that can help: putting mom on all fours (Gaskin manuever), pulling her knees up to her chest (McRoberts maneuver), suprapubic pressure, and delivering the posterior arm by reaching up and pulling the forearm out, among other things that we didn't talk about/do.
10. There are as many positions for pushing things out as there are for getting things in.

Purity is bullshit?

I have some wonderfully fabulous women-friends who have been posting this from Jezebel.com: http://jezebel.com/female-purity-is-bullshit-493278191

I trust these women-friends. They care about women and how women are treated, and they are passionate. They probably know more about the subject of female purity and how it is distorted by our culture. They're also Christians.

I just fear something is getting lost in translation over Facebook. I don't get to hear them speak about where they coming from when they "like" the article. I don't get to listen to their hearts and why (if this is the case) they think purity, in and of itself, is a non-entity.

Because I, too, agree with so much of what Lindy West says. I agree that a woman's worth is not dependent on what she will or will not do for a man, that a woman's "value as a human being is not contingent on her sexual capital". That there is something inherently wrong with a culture that teaches a young girl that if you have sex before marriage, you're the equivalent of a chewed up piece of gum.


I just think she's throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Much of what surrounds purity is patriarchal discrimination against women. But at it's heart, purity is a call to live in a way that is true to the selves that God calls us to be. So rage against the culture surrounding it and the double standard perpetuated by men who say that "pure" women are as rare as unicorns. Go to battle for the women who have not known grace, who have been or who are still held captive by lies that purity is something that you get once and can lose.

Because purity isn't simply not doing something, right?

I just feel like there's a really good conversation to be had, and I'm missing it because of Facebook, and how awful discussions can get online. So, women, come talk to me, please?

(Sidebar: In looking for another view on this, I found this blog: Bad Catholic: Is Female Purity Bullshit?. Good thoughts...frustrating that there is little acknowledgement of common ground between Catholics and Protestants.)

I did not write this. But it is beautiful.

An Easter Poem

Love is hard
         as nails
And life, a gift
         as tender and precious
         as the morning dew.
Come, now. Wake up
         and   be   glad.

Animal Sacrifices

Today on my walk to school, I was listening to a This American Life episode about animal sacrifices. In the intro for the episode, the host talked with a professor of religion about the biblical requirement for the Hebrews to sacrifice animals to God, why they don't do it anymore, and how maybe modern people have a negative -or limited- view of sacrifice.

"It's stuff. One is giving something. One of the points that's often emphasized, even in the biblical tradition-- and also in later rabbinic tradition-- about sacrifice is that a proper sacrifice is something that one owns. You can't go steal an animal and sacrifice it to God. And we also have to remember even if we think of animals as property, ancients-- one has to imagine the domesticated life of people, shepherds, living with their animals, who know their animals. A proper sacrifice has to be unblemished.

To have an unblemished goat, one has to really care for that goat, from the time that the goat is born, to ensure that that goat will not become blemished in some way."

As a Christian, I don't sacrifice animals because Christ himself was the ultimate sacrifice for my sins and God requires no more payment for the wrong I continue to do. But this explanation of sacrifice really stuck with me.

"So you have a relationship with that goat. When you inspect it for blemishes-- which is Bible speak for any kind of nick, or bruise, or anything-- the goat looks you in the eye. And when you give this animal that you personally know to God, God isn't some abstract being. He is someone, someone who takes delight when you bring something to him, who you have this very literal interaction with."

It seems like such a beautiful picture of what God asks us to do in our lives: give everything over to Him, even the things we really care about. Especially those things. Our relationships, careers, children's futures, reputations - if we were able to physically give these things to God, would it be easier to have this literal interaction of sacrifice and delight?

And it makes me think: What in my life do I feel like is a literal interaction with God?
What in your life do you feel like is a literal interaction with God?

You can listen to the episode here:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/480/animal-sacrifice

Med Student Running

Now that I'm in medical school, the extent of my exercise is often walking my dog or riding my bike to school.

People think that's okay.

I was an athlete.

It's not exercise if you don't sweat.

Med Student Cooking

I don't have a lot of time to cook. Weird how taking 19 credit hours of the hardest classes of your life (up to this point) will do that to you.
When I did have time, in that month between growing season when I worked at the greenhouse/getting married/medical school, this was my absolute favorite thing to make.

If you think you don't like broccoli, you're wrong. If you've had good broccoli before because it was smothered with cheese, you're wrong.

Not to be arrogant or anything.

But seriously, this is SO good.
I just ate it on rice for lunch. That's all I had.
I'm so disappointed it's gone.
(And I just uploaded four pictures of broccoli like it was my own first-born child. Not ashamed.)

And it's so easy.

Cut the broccoli.
Heat the oven to 410+
Toss broccoli in olive oil, add a little bit of something acidic (lemon juice is probably the best, although I have used apple cider vinegar when there was no lemon juice around).
Cook it for 20 minutes. Put stuff on top (parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, garlic).

Devour.

Every Joy Is Beyond All Others

I am not a morning person. I prefer the night, it's easy for me to stay up late and always a struggle to wake up, regardless of how early I went to bed. 

This year my husband works an hour away and has to wake up fairly early, and I do my best to wake up with him and see him off before starting my day. 

One of the best things about this: the sunrises. 

Just two days ago as I was getting my breakfast ready, there was liquid gold pouring into the window. 

I felt like I was being baptized with light so thick I would be able to reach out and pull it over me, a blanket that brings wakefulness and excitement instead of sleep. 

Isn't it beautiful?